One More Ride: The Long Way Down

I was watching Long Way Down with my wife the other night. It’s a great show: nine guys riding from the very north of the British Isles (John o’Groats, Scotland) all the way to the very south of Africa (Cape Town, South Africa), with all the adventures, breakdowns, and border chaos that come with it. Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman are the stars, backed by a support crew handling cameras, logistics, and everything else.

At one point I looked over at my wife and said, “Those roads... I’ve been on ones just like them. Those places feel just like places I’ve been. I remember the kids running up, begging for chocolate, MREs, Bic pens, and money.”

She laughed and said, “I bet it brings back memories.”

And I thought... I should do it one more time.

Section 2: The Spark

Deployments and combat themselves suck. There is no romanticizing that part. The heat, the dust, the constant tension, the loss, the fear ... none of it is fun.

But the grand adventures that came with them? Those I miss.

I have stood in Mesopotamia looking at the Tigris River wondering what Trajan, Septimius Severus, and Julian thought as they stood near that same spot. All men think of Rome at least once a day... or so the joke goes. I have prayed within just a few miles of ancient Babylon. In August 1990, en route to Ad Dammam, we landed in Cairo, and the plane refueled, before heading on to Saudi Arabia. Once we landed in Cairo we weren’t allowed off the plane, but the Chalk Commander let us rotate to the door so we could see the pyramids stretching out in the distance. I have moved and communicated deep in the deserts of the Middle East, places most people will only ever see in movies or history books. Those moments, the sheer scale of it all, the feeling of being truly alive in the world, are burned into me.

Now, in my mid-50s, I feel the clock ticking. My body is still strong, still capable, but I know it won’t stay that way forever. In a few years the knees, the back, or just general wear and tear will start saying “no” to three or four months of hard living, rough camping, and real adventure. I actually hate camping. It reminds me too much of trying to sleep in the tank commander’s hatch for thirty minutes before the LT yells for his tank commanders. But I’ll suck up the camping to see the pyramids again.

Watching Long Way Down again lit that fuse. It is not about going back to war. It is about chasing one more grand ride while I still can. One more chance to cross continents, deal with the unknown every single day, and come home with stories that start with “You won’t believe what happened when...”

That is the spark. Not nostalgia for the hard times, but hunger for the adventure that came with them.

Section 3: The Reality Check

Before I ever thought about doing the adventure, I wondered how much it cost to make the show. I guesstimated the budget, that led me down a long rabbit hole of research, and eventually to building a realistic plan for a private version.

I don’t know the real production cost of the 2007 series. No official budget has ever been released. So I made a series of SWAGs — Scientific Wild-Ass Guesses — and then vetted them against actual 2007 prices for fuel in Africa, vehicle costs, crew salaries, filming gear, and everything else I could find. After all the adjustments, my best estimate for the full TV production came out at roughly $2.18 million.

A private trip in 2026 for four mid-50s ex-soldiers looks very different.

The headline is simple: the TV show cost more than six times what a solid private version would cost today. They had cameras rolling the whole time, editors back home, and people getting paid. We won’t.

What surprised me most while building these numbers is how much of the private trip cost comes down to just two things: medical evacuation insurance and the four months of lost salary (opportunity cost). The actual “on the road” expenses are surprisingly manageable when you are not filming a television series.

So yes, it is still real money. But it is not Hollywood money. It is within reach for four guys who have spent decades saving, planning, and executing hard missions.

That realization is what turned “I should do it one more time” from a passing thought into something I am seriously considering.

Section 4: The Plan

What would a realistic private version actually look like in 2026?

Four mid-50s ex-soldiers. Multiple tours between us. Still in decent shape, still mentally sharp, and all carrying the same itch. No film crew. No salaries. Just four guys who know how to move, communicate, and handle hard living.

The Vehicles
Two left-hand-drive Toyota 4Runners. We buy them used in the UK, fit them out with roof racks, bull bars, dual batteries, and long-range tanks, then drive them the whole way and sell them in Cape Town at the end. LHD makes sense because 90% of the trip is on right-side driving roads.

A 4Runner like this, used, set up well, is in the $25-30K range and very much the sort of vehicle you want for 14,000 miles of mostly very rough African roads.

The Route
John o’Groats down through Europe to Sicily, short ferry to Malta for a few days (none of us are missing that stop), then cargo ship the 4Runners from Malta to Alexandria, Egypt. From there we drive south through Egypt, Sudan, Ethiopia, Kenya, Tanzania, Malawi, Zambia, Botswana, Namibia, and into South Africa. We skip Libya and Tunisia due to the level of danger and difficulty getting visas and permission to travel through those countries. We want adventure, not a full blown war. The Malta layover turns a necessary reroute into one of the trip highlights.

A few route numbers:
John o’Groats → London → Calais → Lyon → Rome → Messina → Valleta, Malta is 2,550 miles, 50 hours of driving, probably 10 days duration, and then 4 days on Malta while the 4Runners get shipped to Alexandria.

Alexandria → Aswan Dam → Khartoum → Nairobi → Victoria Falls → Windhoek → Cape Town is another 7,500 miles, 200 hours of driving, probably 50 days duration. And a 20 day buffer for border crossings, maintenance stops, some excursions (like seeing Victoria Falls, Walvis Bay and more). That’s 84 days.

The Style
Staying in 1/3 decent hotels when it makes sense and 2/3 camping. The hotels are as decent as you can find in the places we are going. None of them are gonna be The Four Seasons, more like a Holiday Inn Express. Camp-heavy meals with occasional restaurant stops. We handle our own maintenance, navigation, and security. We already hate camping... but we’ll suck it up for the adventure.

Communications
Starlink for reliable internet in remote areas, ruggedized laptops, and good cellphones with satellite backup capability. And at least one good quality camera to record the adventure. We are not filming a TV show, but we still need to stay in touch with family, handle banking, navigate changing conditions, and call for help if things go seriously wrong.

The Non-Negotiables

• Proper medical and emergency evacuation insurance (the one thing we will not cheap out on)

• Pre-trip refreshers in tactical medicine and hostile environment awareness

• Solid contingency fund and exit plans if things go sideways

• Four guys who actually get along under stress

It is not a vacation. It is a proper expedition. Eighty-five hard days on the road, plus prep time in the UK and the cargo legs. But it is doable.

Section 5: The Numbers

Here is what a realistic 2026 private Long Way Down actually costs for four mid-50s ex-soldiers — no TV crew, no sponsors, no fluff.

Total Cash Out-of-Pocket: $355,000
True Economic Cost (incl. opportunity): $510,000
Per Person: $89,000 cash / $127,500 true cost

It could be cheaper. We could cut hotels, skimp on insurance, buy cheaper vehicles, sleep in the 4Runners every night, and eat nothing but rice and beans. Someone will inevitably show up in the comments with “Akshually, you could do it for $92,000 and here’s how…”

Maybe they could. But at our age, after everything we’ve already done, we are not interested in turning a hard adventure into a sufferfest. Every dollar we are spending is buying safety, reliability, and the ability to actually enjoy the trip instead of just surviving it. We have already done enough suffering in our lives. This time we want the adventure without the unnecessary pain.

Section 6: The Verdict

So, is it crazy?

Yes. Absolutely.

Four mid-50s ex-soldiers spending north of $350,000 cash (and half a million when you count lost wages) to drive two 4Runners from Scotland to South Africa… it is objectively crazy.

But some things are worth being crazy about.

I saw the pyramids from the door of a chartered L-1011 in August 1990, and I want to see them again. I have stood in Mesopotamia and prayed near ancient Babylon. I have lived through moments most people only read about. Now I want one more grand ride while my body will still let me do it properly.

Not as a tourist. Not with a film crew and safety net. Just four brothers-in-arms who know how to handle hard things, chasing one last proper adventure before the window closes.

We are not young men anymore. We understand the risks. We understand the cost. We also understand that one day we will be old men sitting on the porch wondering why we didn’t go when we still could.

I would rather look back and say “We did it” than “We thought about it.”

That is the verdict.

Now I just have to convince three other stubborn old soldiers that they’re as dumb as I am … and start saving the money.